He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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