u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I need to align my fucking chakras
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
