I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The adults are the big ones right?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
