i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
