It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i will never coherently bang her
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
