i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
