the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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