i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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