Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
