and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize