We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
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At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
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nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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