if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
