oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize