I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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