then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
