I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
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i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
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You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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