After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
