Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
