The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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