Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize