Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
