I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
