the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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