I wish I only lived at night.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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