You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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