Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
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so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
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He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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