Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The Olympian is in my bed
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
