Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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