guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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