I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize