And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
