She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
