woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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