Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
A+ Viking dick
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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