omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
