Dual....:-)
I'm so fucking centered right now
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
