meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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