You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Randomize
