I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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