No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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