I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
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