Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
