i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
