If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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