Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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