You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Farmville is her only friend.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize