Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
