Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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