I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
