is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
