Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
