I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
