I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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