yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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