Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
nutella sex= disaster
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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