I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
