Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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