Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
