Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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