...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
