I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
