He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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