I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
