She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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